We all need a break from motherhood sometimes. It’s normal.
For most of us, we can’t just decide to have a day off.
Taking a break requires a lot of organising, and for some of us, we may not have family around or our child’s care needs might be very complex and taking a break isn’t really an option at all.
We are really lucky that my family all get together and have the kids for a weekend for us to go away for a couple of nights every year and we are really grateful for that.
I know that not every one has that option.
There are also other times when I really need a break but it isn’t possible to just take the day off.
So here are some ways we can take a break when we can’t actually take a break.
Add Micro-breaks into your day
Little things add up quickly.
Adding micro-breaks into your day might seem like a really small pointless thing, but it does help.
A micro-break is a tiny break that you fit in throughout the day, and as small as they are, they do make a difference to our stress levels and our mental health.
They are also something that EVERYONE can do.
No matter how intense things are as a mum – you can and you need to add in micro-breaks.
Quite frankly, before you break.
You could add in mini breaks on to the end of activities or you could just do them on your own.
For example, before you change activities you could do a couple of stretches or do a few deep breaths.
It might seem small but it adds up.
Ideas for micro-breaks:
- stretching
- go and stand outside for a couple of minutes
- be mindful of what you are doing
- breathwork
- Read a couple of pages of your book
- Lock yourself in the bathroom for a couple of minutes and just breathe and hear yourself think
- Listen to a song
- Journal – just write a couple things down to get them out of your head
- Send a message to a friend
- Have a cup of tea
- Walk up and down the stairs a couple of times
- Change your environment – just going to a different room will help
- Do a few questions of a puzzle
Plan breaks in
While you may not be able to go away for a weekend or have a spa day, see if you can find someone to watch the kids for you for a couple of hours for you to have a break.
And actually have a break, not say you will and then just use it as time to tackle your to-do list.
Your todo list isn’t going anywhere, take the break!
Maybe you could make a plan with your partner that every Tuesday evening they are in charge and you can have a bit of time for you.
Maybe you just spend that time reading your book or crafting or whatever it is that you like to do, or if you find it difficult to ignore what’s going on get out of the house for an hour or so.
Go for a walk or go do something you enjoy.
Don’t underestimate how good you will feel from just calling somewhere to get a nice drink and just sitting in your car in the quiet for a while.
If your child is in school, maybe once a week block out a few hours and just dedicate those hours to you (or even an hour if your child isn’t in school for long).
It might not be a spa day, but doing it every week or every few weeks or even every month is going to give you a consistent block of time to spend on you and your sanity will thank you for it.
Get together with a friend
Meeting up with a friend can be the exact change of environment you need.
It helps you remember that you are more than just a mum after all.
Getting together with your friends as an adult can seem like trying to achieve the impossible sometimes!
Everyone has a million things going on and trying to find time that works for both of you can feel like a military operation.
But it is so worth it.
Getting together with a friend gives us an instant mood boost.
Our friends give us emotional support and just talking about the things that are going on in your life, especially the more negative things, can help us get a different perspective on things.
Sometimes those problems we have, once said out loud and seen through someone else’s eyes aren’t quite that bad after all.
Or maybe it is a big deal but we know we have someone to talk to about it – and that helps.
Loneliness can be an issue in motherhood too.
Even more so if you are a care-giving mum.
There are a lot of negative health impacts from loneliness so make sure you are making the time to see your friends if you can.
Or perhaps join some local groups if you feel like loneliness is becoming a bit of an issue for you.
Move your body
Exercise is an incredibly quick way to change how we feel and to give us a mood boost.
It might not be a break but it might be the thing that helps you need a break just a little bit less.
When we are fantasising about needing a break, it’s typically because our stress levels are too high (and we are at risk of burning out).
If this is the case we need to be moving in a way that helps us to reduce our stress levels – gentle, slower movements such as walking or pilates or yoga etc.
You are going to get double the benefits if you go for a walk outside and have all the feel-good benefits of sunlight too.
Listen to your body – rest if that’s what you need
Sometimes we need a break in that we need a change of environment, and other times we need a break because we are phyically and emotionally feeling like we have hit a wall.
The only way you are going to know which you need is to be listening to what your body and mind are telling you.
When you think of having a break, are you imagining visiting shops on your own or getting a coffee on your own or a hike etc?
Or in your mind is the break you need a cosy one, with books and blankets and lots of sleep?
If it’s the first, if it’s possible find someone to watch your children for a couple of hours or wait until they are in school to go and do something you fancy doing.
If you can’t physically go for whatever reason, make yourself a fancy drink or coffee at home (there are so many online now) and do some online browsing, a lot of local shops have instagram accounts etc.
I get that it’s not the same as going.
But it is something different to normal and that sometimes makes more of a difference than you’d expect.
Or if you are craving something a bit slower and gentler, grab a cosy blanket and some books and just set aside a bit of time to read your books or do your crafts etc.
A small break is still a break.
Romanticising things does make it feel a lot more beneficial to you.
Listen to music
I don’t know about you, but sometimes all the thoughts and todo’s and random things floating around in my mind get a bit overwhelming.
There are so many health and mental health benefits to listening to music.
It helps with anxiety and helps lower stress, it helps improve our mood and focus and it helps us feel good.
Depending on what type of song we are listening to, we can go from feeling quite low energy to feeling ready to tackle cleaning our entire house just from a few minutes of a song.
It’s not always possible to take a break, but listening to some music while you go about your daily life is going to help boost your mood and lower your cortisol levels and that should hopefully help you need a break just a little bit less.
Get outdoors
Studies have shown that being outdoors in the fresh air not only lowers your stress levels but improves your health too.
If you can, going for a walk will really boost your mood.
For a lot of us though – who need a break but might not be able to have one – just stepping outside the house for 5 minutes will have the same effect.
Make a cuppa and take it outside with you.
Be mindful about it, focus on how the warmth (or coldness) of your drink feels in your hands.
Notice the noises you can hear – the birds singing, maybe traffic or chatting in the background.
What can you smell?
What can you see? Focus in on any greeneery or flowers around you.
Nature is a powerful healer.
What else can you feel?
Can you feel the sun on your face? Is there a breeze? Maybe it’s raining.
Focus in on all of your senses and I promise you will feel so much better for it.
Being mindful is a very powerful thing.
Take a break from your screens
We all know the negative parts of screen time.
Especially doom-scrolling.
Most of us are guilty of checking out for a bit by doom scrolling when we feel overwhelmed.
Put your phone out of the way if you are struggling to get off it. Maybe put it on charge in the corner or in a drawer if just seeing it is tempting you.
There are loads of apps you can use to block certain apps, or you can use an app like the Forest app which you can set a time on (to grow a tree which they actually plant in real life too which i find cool) and that can help keep you off your phone.
The Forest app was a saviour when I was trying to do my degree and kept procrastinating with my phone.
It’s easier said than done sometimes, but spending time away from the screens is going to help you feel so much better.
Change your environment
There is a saying that ‘a change is as good as a rest’.
Sometimes just changing up your environment or the way that you do things helps.
If you can’t go anywhere but need a break doing things a little bit different to normal can help.
Maybe have your breakfast or your dinner outside.
Have a bath instead of a shower.
Mix things up a little bit to make things feel a bit different.
If you can get out of the house, go out somewhere – maybe go for a day out, or go for a walk or just pop to the shops.
Do something different to the normal everyday things that you do.
It does really help and gives you a ‘fresh start’ feeling when you come back home.
Take a mid-day shower
If you can, have a shower in the middle of the day.
If you are in bit of a funk, or in an over-thinking spiral or just feel a bit ‘meh’.
A shower in the middle of the day really helps to give you a bit of a reset.
You come out of the shower feeling fresh and nice and it really does help shift the tone of your day.
Maybe try a bit of cold water at the end to really reset you.
I’ve been doing this at the end of my showers for a few years now and it honestly does make you feel really good!
Do a mindful activity
Activities that you have to focus on are really good of helping us get out of our head and into the moment.
Try things like:
- Baking
- Colouring
- Crafting
- A jigsaw
- Sewing/Embroidery/Cross-stitch
It does help you to reset and see things a bit differently or with more clarity afterwards.
You don’t have to spend hours at it, just ten minutes if you get a chance will help!
It feels like a mini-break for your brain and when things are chaotic it is the little things that will add up really quickly.
I get that when you need a break, nothing is really going to help as much as having an actual break, but hopefully the reminder that doing little things when you can’t have a break will help you to feel a bit better.
I hope as well, that when you do finally get a chance to have that break that you so desperately need that you are able to do it guilt free, and if you struggle with that then this post may help.
Beth x
