Did you know, because of the intensity of taking care of their young, flamingo mothers lose their pink colouring, they go a white/light pink colour. Then as their babies need them less and less and they have more to give to themselves, the pink colour returns.
It’s like a visual of how we can sometimes feel as mums.
As amazing and rewarding that being a mum can be, it also can take so much out of us, and we can be left exhausted and drained from it – think that end of the evening feeling when you’ve just got everyone to bed and you are done.
So if you are feeling like you have lost your pink too – don’t worry you are definitely not alone, I’m right there with you.
Let’s get our pink back together.
I believe that Lyndsey Gurk started the trend on social media.
What exactly does getting your pink back mean?
While the analogy comes from flamingos losing their colour in motherhood – it actually means taking better care of yourself and starting to feel more like you again.
It means feeling happy and colourful again.
The taking care of yourself part means making your own needs a priority again, and doing the the things that make you feel good like:
- eating well
- moving your body in a way that makes you feel good
- prioritising sleep & resting when you need it
- making sure you are drinking enough
- tackling emotional or binge eating
This isn’t a full list, but you get the idea.
Then the feeling like you part means actually DOING the things that make you feel like you.
So things like:
- restarting or starting new hobbies
- making time to fit the things you enjoy doing into your day (running, reading, crafting, baking etc)
- going for a coffee with friends
- going to have your nails or eyebrows etc done
- getting a haircut/hair dye
- journalling
- starting therapy
- decluttering
- Going for a walk with a podcast.
Whatever your favourite things to do are – you need to be doing them again.
Where to start
One of the best ways to start is to do a life audit.
That means looking at all the different areas of your life, scoring them out of ten for how good they are now, then thinking about how you would like those areas to look like.
I have a handy sheet and blog post right here that you can download to do this exercise if it helps!
You then need to make some goals that will allow you to get from where you are now to where you want to be.
For example, right now your home might feel cluttered and like you just cant keep on top of it – but in the version of the life you want your home feels calm and in control.
So the goals could be creating a cleaning routine that helps you keep on top of your home, or decluttering for 20 minutes every Friday afternoon.
Move your body
This is one of the fastest ways to help us to start getting our pink back.
Moving your body should feel good – you should feel good after it.
If you don’t you are not doing to right exercise.
You need to find a movement that you love – maybe that is lifting weights in the gym, or going to a workout class or maybe that’s pilates or yoga or walking.
Whatever it is, don’t overthink it, just do that.
There are so many benefits to moving, there are the obvious health benefits from moving, but it also helps us with our mental health and it helps us cope with all the stress that motherhood throws our way!
Moving can completely shift our mood, so if you feel like you are in a bit of a funk, moving your body can completely change your day around.
Another way it helps is that it makes us feel so much more confident, and if you feel like you have lost yourself in motherhood, your confidence has most likely taken a hit and moving your body will help to get it back.
Eat well
We under estimate how good doing the things that make us feel healthy feel.
We feel energetically ‘lighter’ in our bodies, we have more energy, we just feel happier and more ‘glowy’.
In contrast think of that after Christmas feeling, where everyone is full of too much chocolate and cheese and we all just feel heavy and sluggish.
I think all foods fit in a healthy diet, but prioritising whole and nutritious foods are going to make us feel better.
You don’t have to overhaul your whole life to get healthier, just start with small habits like adding some fruit to your breakfast or a side salad to your lunch, or pre-preparing some healthy snacks if you are out and about all day.
It’s the little things that will add up quickly – things like going to bed 15 minutes earlier, or a cold blast of water at the end of your shower or adding some extra vegetables to your meals that will help you feel more like you after being a mum.
For a lot of us, one of the reasons we don’t feel like us is because we might not be the same size as we were before kids, or perhaps we are emotional eaters and that has made us gain weight – it’s okay to want to lose weight but do it in an in it for the long haul way and not in a diet quick fix way.
If you are wondering whether to start a new diet or not, just ask yourself could I honestly do this for the rest of my life and if the answer is no, then the diet or the plan is a no.
Start small, start with adding some fruit or veg to each meal, then once you are consistently doing that move on to the next healthy habit.
It might seem slow but if each week you did that, by the end of the year you would be like a completely person health wise.
Make time for you
One way that we can lose our pink and stop feeling like ourselves as mums is that we tend to stop doing the things that make us us.
It might be from lack of time or we are too tired, but sometimes we just have a break from those things we enjoy doing and just never get back to doing them.
Make a list of all the things you enjoy doing and then think about when was the last time you even did those things.
We do change in motherhood, some of those things that you used to enjoy you might decide to leave go of and they aren’t for you anymore and that’s okay.
Start making a point of doing those things on your list – sign up for a weekly class if it’s that sort of hobby, or make a plan to go running every other evening.
Whatever your hobby make a plan of how you are going to fit it into your life.
You should be doing something for you everyday. Maybe you won’t leave the house for a hobby everyday (if you can go for it!) but find little ways to fit those things into your life.
Before you make any argument about why you cannot possibly do those things because you are a mum – remember you deserve to be happy and enjoy your motherhood too.
Motherhood becomes a whole lot easier when you are taking care of your own needs as well as everyone else’s needs.
Doing things for you and making time for fun and to do the things that you like – that is a need.
Self care
Following on from doing the things you enjoy, prioritising self care is really important.
Self care gets a bad rap, but it is really important.
Self care means tuning into your body and learning to listen to what you need.
Ask yourself how are you feeling today? Then doing things that are going to help.
Maybe you have woken up tired, so you decide to have an easier day and put off scrubbing the bathroom until tomorrow and try to fit in some rest time into your day instead.
Sometimes self care looks like doing the hard things.
If there is something that just keeps causing you stress, for example – maybe money is stressing you out, self-care would be to sit down and go over your finances and make a budget.
Even though it’s painful in the moment, it is going to help you reduce your stress and help you solve a problem and that is true self care.
Little things
The little things are important when it comes to self care too and these are the things that are going to help you feel like you.
Things like going to have your eyebrows or nails done or booking a haircut and having your hair done.
Those little things really help.
Getting dressed in the morning and doing your makeup if you wear it changes the entire mood of your day. It doesn’t matter that you are not going anywhere.
If you feel good externally, it helps you to feel internally too.
We can sometimes have that feeling of ‘letting ourselves go’ but doing the little things like this help us feel like we have everything a bit more under control.
Making time for friends
There is something about talking about things with our friends that makes them seem so much less of a big deal than we thought.
Meet up with your friend for a walk or go for a coffee, so something out of your usual routine and your house if you can for extra benefit.
A change of scenery can help you think about things a bit more clearly.
Journal
Similarly to talking things out with a friend, journalling can also help you get all of the things out of your head and down onto paper so that you can think a bit more clearly.
Use a journal to list things that you are grateful for – gratitude does wonders for helping us feel happier in our lives and that is going to help you get your pink back.
Other ways that a journal can help is to help you to brain storm what getting your pink back even means – you can usually find a lot of journal prompts online if you search for them.
(Watch this space too as I am also going to be writing a blog post full of journal prompts)
You can brainstorm things you used to enjoy doing as a child if you are stuck on hobbies, or journal about what makes you feel like you.
Rhythm & Routines
So before you skip this section and think why on earth would a routine help me get my pink back – hear me out.
We don’t realise how much brain space gets taken up by remembering all the things that need to get done – cleaning and deep cleaning, laundry, kids activities, physio etc.
There is a lot to remember.
Having a routine is going to allow you to let go of thinking about all those things because there is already a plan.
If you need help making a routine you can have a read of this post here and here.
Routine helps you fit time for you in
Most importantly, having a routine will allow you to fit those things that are going to help you get your pink back into your life.
For example, maybe you know exercise is going to be a key point in getting your pink back a routine will allow you to fit it in.
Maybe you are an exercise first thing in the morning type – then you know that waking early and doing it then is going to be part of your routine.
So then you don’t need to stress about when am I going to fit it in all day, because you know it will be done at 6am.
Or maybe your routine is that every evening after dinner you exercise.
Whatever works for you do it that way.
There isn’t a right or wrong way – the only way is whatever works for you and your life.
If skin care has always been a passion of yours but you just aren’t getting a change – maybe every Wednesday and Sunday you spend some extra time on your skin.
It’s something you can look forward to, and you can increase it to other days when you can – but you know that Sunday and Wednesday is your time.
Finally…
Remember, it’s going to look different for everyone.
Be gentle with yourself, you didn’t lose your pink overnight and it won’t come back overnight either.
The important thing to remember is that it WILL come back.
Just go at your own pace, and everyday just do something that is going to help you get your pink back and suddenly you are going to realise that you feel like you again.
Is this something you are going to do? Let me know and I can cheer you along on your journey!
Beth x
