5 simple ways that will help mums who feel overwhelmed and stressed out to feel calmer and more in control of their life.
Things have been very busy over here lately.
There has been a lot of appointments, the run up to christmas is always very busy with schools and everything has just felt a lot.
Trying to keep on top of everything has felt a bit like an uphill battle.
If you feel like your mind is constantly going a hundred miles an hour and you feel like you are just trying to juggle everything and it’s all getting a bit much, I hope you know that you are not alone in that!
It’s important to remember that it’s completely okay to be overwhelmed (and normal!) but nobody wants to stay there.
So if this does sound like you, I hope this blog post will help bring a little bit more calm into the chaos.
Grab a cuppa and let’s do this.
Start with a list
This is the most important step – all those things swirling around in your mind need to be taken out of your mind and written down on paper (ideally).
If you are more for digital that’s fine, use your notes app etc.
But if you can, use paper because it does seem to help being able to visually see it in front of you.
Grab your pen and paper and just write down absolutely everything that is on your mind right now.
That isn’t just todo items, it’s absolutely everything.
That thing you need to do, that book your friend recommended, those things you need to pick up in the supermarket, remembering that there isn’t any swimming next week, you need to take £1 into school, you need to phone your gran – whatever it is, just write it down.
This is called brain dumping.
Before we go any further, just remember, that you might look at everything you have written down and just feel sheer panic.
It’s okay.
It looks like a lot because it is a lot, but we are going to get it organised and you are going to feel more in control again.
This is the first step.
It’s always the hardest.
You have got this.
Once you have it all written down…
The next step is to categorise things.
Get a new sheet of paper, write down some category names – things like, to-do, errands, contact, school – what categories you chose is going to depend on the kind of things that you have on your list.
Go through your brain dump sheet, and transfer each ‘thing’ into the right catergory on the new sheet.
All the todo list items go under todo.
All the errands you need to do go under errand.
You get the idea.
Cross off each item as you transfer it over to make sure that you don’t forget anything!
Anything that isn’t a task, the more random things like book recommendations or appointment dates etc – write them down somewhere that makes sense.
Get those dates on the calendar.
Write book names on your book list etc – I save everything like that on notion (I will do a blog post on this soon!)
The next step
The next step is to make a plan of when you are actually going to do all the things that you have on your list.
I find that task batching works the best.
This is when you do similar items together, it helps you to be more productive as changing tasks takes quite a lot of effort for your brain and wastes quite a bit of time.
For example, set aside 1 hour to make all your phone calls and another hour to do all your errands etc.
Write it in your planner or bullet journal or todo list app.
Hopefully at this point you are feeling more in control and less overwhelmed already!
Prioritise yourself
It is so easy when we feel overwhelmed to just put our own needs to the bottom of the list.
It is even more important when we are under a lot of stress that we take better care of ourselves.
This doesn’t mean that you have to ignore all the things that need to get done and go and book a spa day.
As nice as that sounds, the stress and overwhelm will still be there when you get home.
It’s the little ways of taking care of yourself that really help when you are feeling overwhelmed.
Going to bed a little bit earlier, aiming for 7-8 hours of sleep.
If you have a child that wakes a lot in the night, then how much sleep you have might be out of your control, but you can focus on the quality.
This blog post might help if your sleep needs a bit of help!
Make sure you are eating well too.
If you are rushing around for appointments or just life is busy in general, make yourself a packed lunch too.
Put a few snacks in your bag, not just for your child but for you too.
The way that you would treat your child, is the way that you need to be treating yourself too.
Remember, taking care of yourself is a part of taking care of everyone else.
You can’t be the mum you want to be when you aren’t taking care of your own needs.
Have a glass or bottle of wander handy all the time to help remind you to drink your water.
Find little 5 minute chunks of time so that you can do something for you.
Find little ways to escape the stress for a little while – whether that’s a quick walk to the end of the road, or a chapter or two of your book.
Those little things can become our life lines when things are overwhelming.
Make sure you are making the time for yourself.
Just pick one thing
When things are overwhelming, it can feel like everything is urgent and has got to be done RIGHT now.
While having a list does help, especially if you have made some time to plan it out a little bit.
If you haven’t done this, I suggest going back to that section and doing it because honestly, it does help!
If you have made your list and you still feel like you are spiralling because it still feels too much…. just chose one thing on your list and do that thing.
It doesn’t matter what it is, it doesn’t matter if it’s the most important or the least important.
Just choose one thing and do that thing.
Then do the same thing again with another task on your list.
The momentum usually picks up by the time you have checked something off your list and had that little dopamine hit and it will help you keep going.
Then before you know it you will have quite a few things crossed off your todo list and things will start feeling a little less overwhelming again.
So just choose one thing, and start there.
You have got this!
Delegate and delete
I get it, nobody does things quite as you do – but sometimes you have got to ask for help!
Asking for help doesn’t mean you are failing or that you aren’t doing as well as you should be…it literally just means you are asking for help.
Look through your task list and have a look if there are any tasks that your partner can do, or one of your kids if they are old enough.
Or can you ask your partner to watch everyone for an hour while you get on with knocking a few things off your todo list?
Or can they make dinner so you can keep going with things and it’s one less pressure on you?
It’s worth asking as well, does everything on your list actually need to be on your list?
If something has been on your list for ages and it’s not really urgent, can you get rid of it?
Or if you can’t can you make a new list where you just have those items that do need to be done at some point but there isn’t any urgency with.
Those type of items are not for now.
Celebrate those ticks!
Have you heard of a ta-da list?
It’s a list that you can make where you write down all the things that you have done to celebrate them.
Even small things like empty the dishwasher, feed the dog etc.
If you struggle with feeling like you don’t get anything done in a day when you have the kids around, it does help you to realise how much stuff you actually do get done in a day before even starting on your to do list.
You don’t have to make a list, but just take a minute to mentally high five yourself on how much you are getting done.
And hopefully on how less overwhelmed you are feeling!
You could always treat yourself to an early bath or some extra time reading or doing your favourite thing to fully celebrate feeling a bit less overwhelmed.
Doing something for you is going to help with feeling less overwhelmed as well so its win-win!
Just remember, you aren’t rewarding yourself for productivity, so whether your todo list is finished or not you are still doing that thing for you.
I hope this helps you feel a bit more in control when things feel overwhelming.
Let me know if you try it!
Beth x
